Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

It is the Fourth of July!!

When Jeff was little, he called this day The Fourth of the July.   It was quite a celebration to him.  I think now I am happy to sit softly and feel the fireworks gentle simmer inside.  I am less into the pop, the bang, and more into the expansion.  I accept that I am begun, and not yet to my end.  I love this time inbetween.  

I am noticing that Mandu is still with us, in the way of this soft, expanding warmth inside.  Perhaps, it is that way with all of those we love who die.  They expand within us like tiny supernovas.   We always celebrated Mandu's birthday on this day, and so, we will continue to celebrate him today.   We miss him very much.

I am reading a book - surprise, surprise - called Uncursing the Dark, Treasures from the Underworld by Betty Meador.  I found the book too much for me during chemo and radiation, but, today, it makes perfect sense.  She is writing about the need for the feminine, the feminine as guardian of culture, and civilization, and, also, as nature, that vast place from which we come.  My only criticism of the book is that she keeps emphasizing it as a manual for women.  I feel both men and women need to uncover their feminine, to look into the vast, creative reservoir there.  I want each of us to have that balance of masculine and feminine.

Yesterday, Steve and I bought new track lights for over our bed.  The old ones were too big, broken, and dangling, and, yet, I have been unable to face dealing with them.  Now, our new lamps and bulbs offer a brighter light, one more pink and yellow.  It is like sitting in the sun in the flattering light of evening, and, we can read.  I also dealt with the piles of mail.  Everything seemed easy yesterday.  I am grateful that my mind seems to be returning, and energy, too.

I am happy to see sun today, and feel a warm glow, within and without.    I feel myself sparkling.  I am lit, and bubbling through.   May you, too, feel the streams of light and energy, pulsing and waving like our tinder touch we offer the sky tonight.  

I also was reminded in this book of the word, "Amazon," and where it comes from.  Amazon Women.  No wonder I find that easy access to books such a delight.  Check out the Google logo today.  It is Celebration Time in all ways.   Celebrate as wave and particle, and dance with pom poms between.


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