Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

more thoughts - oh, my! : )

I am reading Ajahn Brahm's book, "Who Ordered This Truckload of Dung?"

Dung is a very good thing, as we all know. What is better than fertilizer and compost, except for the flowers which then poke forth from all that rich nourishment?

One chapter in Brahm's book is titled, "What's wrong with being sick?"

Well, I raised myself to believe I had failed if I was sick. My positive thoughts "should" keep me well.

He points out that "Whenever you preceive sickness as something wrong, you add unnecessary stress, even guilt, on top of the unpleasantness." He asks "How many of us are made to feel guilty when we are sick?"

He writes of a sick monk, who wept when he was given permission to die, for he had felt like such a failure for not getting better when all his friends were there in such support of him, and desire for him to be well.

Permission given to die, he didn't need to struggle to please his friends; the release allowed him to cry, and he lived.

I'm not asking for permission to die, but I am seeing more and more that surrender to what is, is the key to my healing in this.

My father died in an accident when I was 19, and my brother was 15. The shock was beyond imagining, and yet, we always felt him close and protective of us, and when my mother joined him this last February, we both felt them joined together in much-deserved delight.

We feel them flitting here, and there, and enjoying a wide expansive use of energy and light, and yet, my brother has felt concern that this with me might be too hard on them, and, they might have needed to leave for a bit, and I have felt they see a wider view of it.

My brother this morning, sent this:

"Also, right after I'd sent you the email the other day where I said I felt our parents had moved on... I was out in the front yard with the dogs and it was so quiet with all the snow on the ground and in the trees and then the dogs heard something before I did and looked up at the sky. Then I heard it too, the gentle distant honking of a flock of geese. They were flying very low and coming right in the direction of our house and flying in a perfect "V", except that; picture the right side of the "V" being about 30 geese long and angling to the right a bit. And the left side being only about 12 geese long and angling to the left. It was like the most beautiful two parted, asymmetrical bow or something and, again, they were so close you could almost feel them. And it was easy to imagine it being a message of Boop and Dad flying over head together, if you were inclined to do so."

I am so touched.
Of course, I am inclined to do so.
My parents, Our parents, All children and parents are here!
The world is rich with intent, and I feel well, whole, healed, and held by you all, whether in this world, the previous, or next.

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