Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Your laugh for today -

Biblical Nutrition

In  the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and populated The Earth  with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red Vegetables  of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
 
Then using God's great  gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream And Krispy Creme Donuts. And  Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man Said, "Yes!" and Woman  said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10  pounds. And Satan smiled. 

And God created the  healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure That Man found so fair. And  Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and Sugar from the cane and  combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 18.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And  Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast  on the side. And Man And Woman unfastened their belts following the  repast.

God then said, "I  have sent you heart healthy vegetables and olive oil In which to cook them."  And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and Chicken-fried steak so big it  needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight  And his cholesterol went  through the roof.

God then  created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It  is good." Satan then Created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's  Food."

God then brought forth  running shoes so that His children might lose Those extra pounds. And Satan  gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would Not have to toil changing  the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried Before the flickering blue  light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming With  nutrition. And Satan peeled off the Healthful skin and sliced the starchy  center into chips and deep -fried Them. And Man gained pounds. 

God then gave lean beef so  that Man might consume fewer calories and Still satisfy his appetite. And  Satan Created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger. Then said, "You  want Fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan  said,"It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass  surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.
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