Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

a forward -

This comes by email and I don't know who to credit, though it is quite great. 

It is, of course, not true for my cats at all.


EXCERPTS FROM A DOGS DIARY

8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 
 
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! Heavenly!

11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."

I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....
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