From a Japanese car-rental firm's informative brochure
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacle your passage, then tootle him with vigor. If honorable horse obstacle your path, pull over until he he pass away.
The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
Inside an elevator in
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
Please leave your values at the front desk.
At an Austrian ski lodge
Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
Dresses for street walking.
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In Soviet Weekly
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000
In an East African newspaper
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
Advertisement of a
Teeth extracted by the latest methodists.
In a Russian book on chess
A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
Advertisement for donkey rides in
Would you like to ride your own ass?
On a faucet in a Finnish restroom
To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier
Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.
Detour sign in
Stop -- Drive sideways.
Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.
On the door of a Roman doctor's office
Specialist in women and other diseases.
Instructions accompanying new Japanese air conditioners
Cooles and heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
Signs at two Majorcan shops
English well talking
Here speeching American.
Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Yugoslavian hotel
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel
You are invited to take advantage of the women who are employed to clean the room.
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
Drop your trousers here for best results.
At a German campground
It is strictly forbidden on our
Ladies, please leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
Czech tourist agency brochure
Take one of our horse-drawn city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.
At a Swiss mountain inn
Special Today -- NO ICE CREAM.
Slogan of a Dutch airline
We take your bags and send them in all directions.
If this is your first visit to the
Inside a Swedish lounge
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
We are pleased to announce that the manager has personally passed all the water served here.