Jane and I had quite a discussion about it. I have learned to be in the moment, and so what I posted was my personal experience in that moment. It was also a way to let a group of people know what happened at the wedding from my point of view, but was it necessary, and would I want my grandchildren to read it? No, I would not.
In posting as I did, I verified that it is helpful for me to just have one, heavy purge, rather than discussing it with different people. It's gone.
Amazingly, what Jane and I were working with today was January 31st, where neither of us in our poems really addressed what was going on in our lives at the time. In our translations, we do. We were distancing ourselves and we needed to do that to survive. I have learned to better live in the moment. That morning there was a pink sky and I was immersed in it and embraced by it, even though my day was a chemo day. Jane had issues of her own. You would not know that from our poems of that day.
What I was trying to do with my posting on the wedding was to be honest about my hurt, but much of my hurt was for Jan, and my perception of what it might be for Jan. Jan can handle this herself. She has. She has lived with this all of her life. Many of her friends have been through it, and her parents, will come, in their own time, to accept this marriage, or not, but it is irrelevant at this point. We all are thrilled.
I feel at peace today. I do feel the wedding was an example of people expanding in love to include all. I don't think anyone judged Jan's parents. They just realized they were not yet able to accept a uniting of cultural differences, and that, love will triumph, and that will come, and, if not in this lifetime, then, in the next.