Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Good Morning!!

    I am feeling a bit emotional this morning.  I have a mammogram today, only on the right side, as the left is still too sore, and I know all is fine and all right, and I am nervous about it, and, so, it is.  It is what is true for me right now. 

    Also,  I spoke with the woman who we are considering for our editor.  She is a breast cancer survivor, and was diagnosed in 1996.   She loves the idea of what we are doing, and she needs to see the manuscript to see if she is emotionally ready to deal with the subject.   She is 99% sure she can handle it.  It says something to me about how long the healing takes, and each one of us is different, but it is there for us, I think, forever.  We are changed.  I am changed.

    I feel nervous then on two fronts, mammogram and working more verbally now with the book.  I saw on Saturday that I am unable to say the words of what I went through this year.  I gloss.  I am distancing, and it is okay.   Even saying I was ill, caused my jaw to release, and some of my "Grin and bear it," attitude to let go.  I feel fragile today, like a drop of dew on a summer day, or a tiny white violet in the forest, and I am here, and moving onward in my day.

    Great love and care to all of you!   May life move with ease and simplicity, as it is meant to be, a river to the sea. 


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