Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

re-considering -

I look back at what I just wrote. Perhaps, I am sick. I still have a cold and a cough. Just that, might be considered sick, and yet, there is something about the regimen of all of this, that is confusing to me. I also think it is important to feel well, and so, I do feel well. I don't like the word "sick," and yet, as I say, I think it may be important for me to feel today that I do have cancer, and that it is being dealt with, and that this is not a mistake, that the medical profession and my insurance company are not doing all this just for fun, and that, yes, I will be fine, and most probably have another 30 years, and that this was scary. I think I can let myself feel that this morning, how very scary this is. I know that in feeling it, it won't be scary anymore, but, perhaps this morning it has been good to somewhat feel what I have been through in the last three months, and so, it is. Today, is the day of the return of the light. I spin there, rotating, like a planet, in the lovely cyclical breeze.
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