My goodness, you
people stay atop my blog. : )
I returned to
many messages from people questioning that I actually went to Muir Woods
today. Yes, I did, and it was
wondrous. I was given what I
needed. My search is, in this moment,
complete.
Driving out
there in the fog and rain, I
contemplated this talk, and/or goal of
“reaching our core,” of “going
deeper.” What would that be? What
does it mean? ( I nod to Mudita here.)
I suddenly
realized that everything opens into something else, into everything else. There is no deeper; there is no core.
The center of
the diamond doesn’t say I’m core to the outside of the jewel. There
is no core to a crystal. The Family
Circles of Redwoods don’t feel their core is missing, because the main redwood
died leaving a root system to nourish the whole. Penguins move in and out of a circle of
warmth. All is.
It just is. All is moving, and
there is no clearly defined core to try and catch and hold.
Wow! That is such a relief for me.
And I am not
sick, for I am not experiencing dis-ease.
I am at peace. I am whole.
I am all aspects of the diamond, the redwoods, the creek, the salmon, you and
me.
I needed to know
the salmon were there, because, for me, it meant I would get well. Their return symbolizes rejuvenation to
me. The creek today was like a class
five river. There were rapids and it was
rushing brown, and I was told the salmon
are there, but I wouldn’t see them.
I realized this
is how it feels to my blood stream when the chemo is pushed in, rapids, and I
am given steroids, so I don’t realize, but I “got” why I am so tired on
Wednesday and Thursday. Look at what I
have been through. And there is a time
to rest. The salmon aren’t pushing
up-stream today against all that current.
They are tucked in. They will
come out when it makes sense.
I stand in a
tree at Muir Woods. I return to nature’s
balance. Now, I can handle the buzzing
of the bees that we are.
Wordsworth said
that “Poetry is emotion recollected in tranquillilty.” Perhaps one day I will turn my words on a
lathe of tranquillity. For now, they
flow downstream, like the current of my beloved Redwood Creek in Muir Woods.