I realized today that thinking too much about who I might be is the problem. I am fine as I am. All works in my life. I share plenty and if there is more to share, that will come forth in time.
I also see that for me the book stands on its own as separate from me, so I struggle to say who I might have been before it, and, yet, I know a picture needs a frame, and that is what is being asked. A baby needs an adult to survive, a river needs a bank, and a book needs an author with which to anchor and share context, birth, and form.
What I also see in this contemplation is how involved I feel in this world, how connected. I don't like to separate myself from it, and yet each of us, like light, is both particle and wave. I like living in the wave end of the spectrum, and perhaps, I still and document moments of time with this blog and this book.
I also realize that each of us balances mass and energy. I prefer to keep my idea of "mass," of identity, of who I am, loose, so that my energy is freer to bounce where it might. Who knows where I may land?
Karen and I met at Muir Woods today. The salmon are there, I am told, though we didn't see them. I see how much the rocks look like salmon, and I realize I need to get there earlier in the day. I, again, buy a yearly pass.
I touch the moss on the trees, and raise my eyes.
complex and simple -
winding moss around tree trunks
wiggle worms of thought -