I have been considering this subject of the public and private in a person, my person, and trying to understand it as I weave through this blog. When I was in treatment, I was a completely public person. Now, I allow myself some privacy in what I share. Why is there a difference? I look for clues.
The following is a conversation from the book Waking Up, a book about Charlotte Selver, the leader of Sensory Awareness.
Student: All the time you've been talking I was thinking that, in times of crisis, it seems so easy to have the inside and the outside working right close together. Is that because we forget ourselves?
Charlotte: Yes. We are more heightened.
Student: And then there's no choice. We just act.
Charlotte: Then there's no question. I do believe that when things really become urgent - suppose this house is burning - it hits through to your very core. When anything hits us through to the very core, there is no person anymore.
Now, I contemplate these words from the article on physics and protons.
Energy and beauty are deeply linked in contemporary physics. At the highest energies, like those immediately after the Big Bang, perfect symmetry prevails, and all the forces of nature merge into one. As the universe cooled down, this symmetry was broken in various ways, so the world we see around us is, as the Nobel laureate physicist Steven Weinberg has put it, “only an imperfect reflection of a deeper and more beautiful reality.”
I wonder if crisis takes us back to the primordial energy, that perfect symmetry. No wonder I have missed that aspect of the illness and treatment process, and now I reach through movement and sensing to integrate again. I feel my struggle lay to rest, and that is this moment, and who knows what response will bring in the next moment, and the next.
For now, I wish each cell in each of us a fully responding and responsive day!!