Jan was excited to go out today, and stock up on the half-price Christmas paper and cards. In other years, I might have been there with her, but I realize now I have no idea what will appeal to me next year, and I don't want to store extra stuff, and perhaps, most importantly, I now "get" that it is not a given I will be here next year.
What I saw this year is that what I purchased ahead at half-price, certainly did not appeal to me after what I went through this year. I paid full-price for my Christmas cards this year, and I was fine with it. Why not, I thought? Can't I afford that? I love Christmas cards. I can pay full-price, and send out what suits me now, not a few days after the Christmas of a year before.
This perhaps sounds trivial, but it is a big step for me. I have perhaps hoarded a bit, afraid of a lack. I worried about starving. I like to know the house is stocked with blankets and food. I like my "cave" well-provisioned, and I am letting some of that go.
I am enough. I have enough right now. I need very little, and I am, of course, wealthy beyond imagining. That is perhaps both literally true, and figuratively. Look at all we all have. My goodness, and what matters to me now is that my heart beats in tune with other loving hearts. We are attuned. I am grateful for You! Thank you for filling and fulfilling the pulse of my heart, the beat of my Life!
