Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy
cathy_edgett

Thoughts -

It has been a full day.  I am with a  multitude of thoughts and feelings, and also, in a place of no-thought and no-feeling.  I am tired and my heart is sore, sore from sharing, loving, laughing, crying, and understanding.  I'm not quite sure how to explain it other than that.  One thing I remembered today was how hard it was to tell you about the cancer because I didn't want to cause you pain.  I realize how intertwined we all are and how much we want to protect the other, and sometimes just our living causes pain for another, and so we need to deal with that. 

Love is the answer, the reason for being.  We invest in others, and sometimes there is pain and the revolution and resolution is Love.  I more and more see how it is why we are here, to find and feel the peace and expansiveness of that without running too far from the pain that love, at times, must inspire, for when we love, we don't want the other to suffer.  We want to care for them.   We want everything to be all right for those around us without really knowing what that "right" might be.  

I have said there were some positive aspects to chemo.  One was presence without judgment, and another was a chance to sleep when I was tired and eat when I was hungry.   I was kind to myself.   Kindness.   Can we all be kind?    Give yourself a hug tonight.   Feel and feed your precious being.   Honor the fullness of dark and light.
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