Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Thoughts -

The nurse from my insurance company checks in with me to see how I am doing, and usually, in my stoic way, I say all is fine, considering what I am going through, but today, I decided to say I was having a really hard time, and had actually considered quitting. She was very firm on how important continuation is, on how I have made a good start, and I need to finish it out. I guess if my insurance company doesn't mind the cost, and is paying someone to encourage me to continue, it must be worthwhile. I am trying to work on my attitude today, as I rest my very sore, for no reason that I can understand, feet. She said Christmas is the hardest time, as we are out of our routine, and, the misery of it, somehow seems more obvious. That makes sense, I guess. : )

I read an unusual book, for me, today, the autobiography of the 26 year old Valentino Rossi, possibly the best motorcycle racer racing today. The book is titled "What If I Had Never Tried It." He attributes much of his success to his mechanic Jeremy and it seems that may well be so. The attitude of Valentino and Jeremy seems, ironically enough, like what is needed to carry me through chemo. Somehow, getting through a motorcycle race and chemo seem to have similar components - attitude, vision, support of the team.

So, I am gearing up for my blood test on Friday, and my chemo treatment on Tuesday. Valentino's number is 46, and he has all sorts of superstitious rituals and such. I have my treasures that I take with me, my angel, my "Protect This Woman" shield, and my special shawl. Maybe I need a number. I think the only number that makes sense is ONE! I choose number one, and will figure out a way to have a "one" somehow emblazoned on my being. I will prepare as carefully as Rossi for a motorcycle race, or as carefully as Jerry Rice prepared for a football game. I see it is the same. Challenge Ho!! Only five more to go!!

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