Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Good Morning!!

It is a peaceful morning.  I woke from an intense dream.  I dreamed that my mother died and we were doing the memorial service that next day at 12:00.  Most of it was taken care of but there were signs with her name and music playing.  I sobbed and sobbed in the dream and struggled with who to invite.  I kept thinking I needed to post it on the blog, and I was also thinking it should just be immediate family.

I think something has shifted inside and so I am not only able to feel my own grief over what happened to me but also my sadness at my mother's death the year before.  When she died, I was so grateful she didn't suffer that I didn't have time to really grieve the loss to myself.  Then, I got involved in my own "stuff."

What I feel this morning is that I am feeling this in a new place.  Often I feel grief and love in my heart, in the center there at the level of the heart but this feeling is a little lower down at the level of the end of the sternum, and Marion says that really is the "place," the place of deepest feeling and though I don't believe she uses the word soul, it seems to me that is what she means.  It is the place where we touch our soul, so I am feeling quite, I don't even know what,  this morning, as I take this in.   I cried in the dream, but I don't feel sad, only a calm excitement of an opening door and an entry into a spacious new cave of jewels and new places to explore.

I am over to the East Bay to work with Jane.  I worked again yesterday with the form of the book and it still doesn't quite fit so I am hoping this new shift in me means the puzzle will finally click.  We'll see.

A beautiful Sunday to all.

Elaine sends this.  The cleverness amazes me and I continue to wonder why we can be so creative and still end up in the mess of Iraq.

Watch until the end.   The ending, alas, is sad, or maybe humorous to you.  

Perhaps it isn't for us to understand what is going on, but to continue opening like a flower until our petals fall and we are one.


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