I am still with a great deal of feeling around this with the Edwards. One thing that bothered me in the campaign for vice-president was a night they were all up on the stage. The children were running around on the stage and Edwards gave them a scathing look. They were to "behave," according to his idea of what that meant. He is disciplined in himself and with his children. Just that look made me question my vote for him, and yet, I know that to be a politician you have to be stamped from different leather than I.
I am with his remark that their two children who are six and eight will be fine, that they will "fly" on their own. I think John Edwards has always worked and he is correct that they will be fine and learn to fly. We are all fine, but I do wonder about it, and his empathy for children, and their need for unstructured play, and in that, his ability to honor and hear the voice of the child in himself.
In the Rosen session last week it came up that one way I survived is that I left my body. I was thinking about that in the shower, how I was supported not only by all of you, but also by spiritual, soul filled levels of myself. I believe that most say who have been through these things that "re-entry" is tough. Re-entry is the word used. I think we drop back down into, fall back into the body.
It may be that John and Elizabeth are living in soul filled and spiritual realms, and can navigate this more physical world too. I certainly pray for both of them and their children. How could we not? Our hearts go out to them in their courage and pain.
I am honoring my fragility today. I do fear that the cancer will return. I am grateful I can feel it and speak it. Maybe that will move it through. My father had surgery when I was nine and I went to visit my grandmother and aunt in Chicago while he healed. It was summertime and I swam in Lake Michigan and they took me to the Conrad Hilton for a dinner show, and they gave me every treat, and nothing equaled the moment I saw my father again.
What do we want most? To be with those we love.
I know the Edwards believe in service and I trust their choices for them, and I appreciate that they are bringing the subjects of death and illness more fully into the public domain. They represent something for us now and that may be the service they provide, and they do seem to speak for the "common" man and woman. Who knows how it will all play out, but, for sure, they have stirred up a great deal in me.
May you have an in-the-body and out-of-the body sort of day. May both inner and outer unite. I see the sun is back, and it seems the wind has stilled. It is a March day, a day of change, the lion and the lamb at play.