Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Noticing -

Today I stood at a counter waiting to purchase something.   There was no one around and I could see people were busy, so I stood calmly,  perusing the temptations around me.  A woman came up behind me and demanded in a loud voice some attention.  She said it sweetly but with authority.  She said she was from New York, and though she had been here since the seventies, it still came naturally to her to "speak up."  I said I still carry my midwestern background of acceptance, though, truthfully, there are times I might have fumed.

The guy gave me 20% off for being patient, and we all three had a good discussion on the subject.  I realized that it is rare that I get upset anymore over something so trivial as to whether I have instant gratification on paying.   (Of course that does not include the MV Safeway which would try the patience of a saint.)  What I do there is to avoid it as much as possible. 

It was wonderful though to feel some patience has come through.  I am more aware that usually when I get angry, it hurts me.  Of course, the woman who spoke wasn't really angry.  She was just pointing out the problem.   Why was she in line?  She had a return.

For me, my perception on how I relate to what comes now relates to how I will meet death.  I am trying to teach myself steps of acceptance. I am hoping, planning perhaps,  to meet death wisely and calmly, not thrilled with it necessarily, and certainly with some fight almost until the end,  and also, aware that there will come a time when I am meant to drop softly  beneath the sea and "let go."  Release. 

I intend to practice life and death with every breath.

Inhale.  Savor.  Utilize.  Enjoy.  Let Go.  Release.

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