Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Great Morning!!


Water tastes good today.  I feel unlaced.   I honor the change.  Two friends tell me this week of friends who have newly diagnosed breast cancer.  They want advice.  I find myself offering exactly what I have done.  I would do chemo again.  I trust the medical advice.  

That said, I want to advise each of you to take care of yourselves.  There is a common thread in those who get breast cancer.  Their care is directed outward to others.  Men get breast cancer too.  Care for yourself. 

Because my feet were such a problem last time, the nurse practitioner advised me to care for them this time, and so each evening,  I rub them with a fragrant, moisturizing cream.  I suggest the same to you.   My feet are doing fine.  

Jan spoke to her parents.  I am delighted to see her not only as a doctor of Western medicine, but also of the human heart.   Yay, Jan!!

This morning I am so delighted at the taste of water that I find myself feeling like a fish who has broken out of a bowl into a vast pond, and then, I wonder if fish drink water since they live in it, so I realize I must be climbing out to shore.   Here is my poem on that. 


Fog this morning outside my bowl which broke today,
so I could climb to shore
where the taste of water refreshes my throat,
and my legs begin to form.


Jane says I sound different today, and I feel different.  I am poetry.



Words hung on a line,
like wet clothes,
waving in the wind,
offering moisture,
to the sky,
and the listening
passing by -  


Again, I read the words of Rilke,  “Poetry is the natural prayer of the human soul.”    Here is my prayer for today.



Today I unbraid the waterfalls
flowing in and around
and make a field in which to face
the grace,
all ripening,


Jane's poem today contains a bowl also.  We speak of containers.  Though my bowl breaks, I could not know that without feeling the container I am.   Yesterday I practiced being. I found it challenging.   I sat in a chair for five minutes at a time with no book, no idea of meditation, no need to stuff something into myself or take something out.  I practiced being.   Today, I reap delight. 

I am also realizing I don't  need to keep trying to stuff  food in my mouth.  I’m not hungry.  Why do I think I need to keep eating?  Do I really think I am going to starve?   I let myself have space around food yesterday.     I am told that when I was a baby, we would go to a restaurant, and I would obediently open my mouth and my parents would place food in it.  I would store it there like a chipmunk, and, then, we would leave the restaurant, and my parents would tilt me over and the food would pour out.  Sometimes now, I feel like a baby.  I have no agenda.  I am 56;  the stars are where they were when I was born;  I have only a few light hairs, and I need a lot of sleep and care.  I am learning a new way of being.  Perhaps I don’t need so much food.  Perhaps I can honor lightness, and move past the compulsive and become space and time.




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