Evening -

As the moon moved across the sky tonight, we all sat and talked, Steve, Jeff, Chris, Mandu and I. I realized that today was the first time I have felt anger about this whole thing. I have been so engrossed in the receiving of so much support and love that there was no place for anger.

There was a young woman there today with her husband. She looked very sick and her head was wrapped in a turban. I think her image is what has most stayed with me today, and may be what so upset me. I thought the people there today would be older, but there are young people. Perhaps that is what I found the hardest.

I have lived a good life, and I have 30 more years to go. I feel for the young people who are going through this. That is hard to understand. I think now of Alicia who writes her story for the Chronicle. I want our young people well.

Anyway, I feel myself back to contentment tonight. I continue to say and feel that in the moment my life is just fine, and that is the lesson I know is in all of this, and I worry about our young people and why they need to be ill.

I continue well!

Take care!!

Sleep fully,
cathy


I wrote the following poem this morning. It has been quite the day. The tree outside the oncologist's office had eleven leaves left on it today. I will see it go from bare to full hair, just like me.


This Morning

one friend says her defenses are falling
and I see the tree losing its leaves
to expose the trunk
lifting branches to offer sky
a place to sit in birds and rest -

another sends a photo of a waterfall -
a match lighting the dark -

I feel myself dropping
like water
like leaves
to open form
with only the opening
and closing of breath -

the fire in the night