Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

Checking in -

It's raining softly and is cozy within and dark.   Both "kittens" are curled and sleeping, and I must admit I took a lazy morning for myself.  I haven't been able to get rid of the cold, and then, the flu stepped in last night, and all the information from the Sensory Awareness collided with all the work of a wedding, and I was so tired, I couldn't move.

For a wedding today, one has a web-site.  I checked out Chris and Frieda's yesterday and they have an amazing start.  The bio of her parent's, and her brother and his wife are up, and Chris is coming over with Jeff this weekend to go through our photos so they can be scanned and a CD made and I guess they, too, go up on the web-site.

I had a dream that I was at a screening of the photos of my life.   It felt strange, and as much as I enjoy the blog,  you might note there are no photos on it.  I am camera-shy, and always wonder if the native people aren't correct, that a piece of soul is stolen with each shot.  Anyway, it seems there will be many photos on their wedding site.  I realize how intimate photos seem to me, even in these times. 

Jeff was explaining the new wedding model to me.  Because the couple usually lives together for years before their wedding, they look forward to the wedding as a chance to see their friends.  Obviously, there is not much wedding night anxiety about performance or anything.  The wedding is a chance to see their friends, and that is why the days of partying.  I am trying to fit myself into the new model, and I'm sure that in less than nine months I will do very well.

I also note that this is the time of year when I got the news of my illness.  I am wondering if that is contributing to how tired I am.  I am worn out and I am hoping that by resting today, renewal will sprout.

Chris and Frieda will be married next to a white albino redwood in a redwood grove.  Chris says the white redwood looks magical, like a unicorn or pegasus.  It does seem very special, so I am envisioning myself as a white redwood today, and nourishing on what surrounds.  I seem to have lost my ability to photosynthesize, and in resting, I beckon my factory of energy to spout.

I am grateful for the rain and health, and I give thanks for the energy I do have, instead of beating myself up by wanting more.

Here is to rest, renewal, peace, and ease.

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