Heart Happy (cathy_edgett) wrote,
Heart Happy

checking in -

Jeff called, concerned that I have posted so little on my blog the last few days. I think I am just worn out, so I am resting, surrendering, renewing. I am doing fine, and, I am still recuperating from the last chemo regimen, and preparing for the next one, by staying calm and peaceful, and undemanding of my time.
I am allowing an expansiveness that seems little concerned with thought, and mind, and more aware of a vastness beyond anything I can define.
I have however, checked out wedding ideas that Jeff and Jan send my way. They created in their high school pottery class a beautiful Indian marriage vessel. They will drink from that at their wedding. Jeff knew then that Jan was the one, and they would marry. Traditionally, the parents of the groom make the vessel, but it has been waiting here in this house all these years, so we feel that honors the tradition.
They are thinking of a drumming circle, so, perhaps, we will all learn to drum, and we will learn how to make drums, and if we want to go total fantasy, Disneyland offers wedding packages and the bride rides in a glass coach. Wow! So, we are considering all the possibilities. And there is always elopement!!
Jan's parents have called her, and are visiting with her tomorrow at noon. Jeff, Steve, and I will visit Chris at his new apartment in the East Bay. I think I have surrendered my expectations of what things "need" to be, or "must" be, and in that is perhaps a fatigue as my body absorbs the new space. I realize their connection is beautiful. They love each other. All is very well, and I do not have to put myself into anger, hurt, or hysterics. I am here to love, and, as I sit with that love, the sun peers through the clouds, and the world sparkles and shines.
Great beauty and love to each of you, happiness, acceptance, spaciousness, calm, fullness, surrender, and release.

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